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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628663">The Gift</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CordeliaReign/pseuds/CordeliaReign'>CordeliaReign</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance | BSAA, Chris Redfield is Chris Mueller, Complicated Relationships, Drunk Chris Redfield, F/M, Lies, Military, Mysterious Characters, Original Character(s), Sacrifice, Secret Organizations, Self-Sacrifice, Spies &amp; Secret Agents, complex, unknown - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:48:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,574</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628663</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CordeliaReign/pseuds/CordeliaReign</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Gift is a lengthy tale of sacrifice and duty. The main character is an enigma with unknown personal goals. She works for a secret organization that influences the outcomes of different scenarios. The main character ignores direct orders and changes the outcome forever by saving a life. A life that is worth the sacrifice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chris Redfield/Original Female Character(s), Chris Redfield/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dear Reader,<br/>This is my first attempt at publishing something that I have written. I do not consider this work to be a fanfic, however, it is heavily influenced by different elements from the resident evil franchise. I truly hope that you enjoy this story and I look forward to completing it with your help.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The gift</p><p> </p><p>Prologue</p><p> </p><p>I’m so tired.</p><p>I can’t keep moving. My lungs are aching, I can barely breathe. My palms are drenched in crimson. I try to keep moving but the gaping wound won’t let me. It’s still oozing, strong and fast. He’s running now but he wants to stop. He wants to help. I won’t let him. He’s slowing down. I muster the last of my strength and I push him forward, locking the steel door behind him. He bangs on the door but I won’t let him in. I just smile, that coy flirtatious smile and I wave. He thinks I already have an exit strategy but I’m sure that I’m gonna die here.</p><p>The hole hurts and I slowly slide down against the wall, everything is red. Everywhere is dirty and drenched. But I can’t let them leave. I’m not done yet. I’ll push through, I have to. That damn phone is buzzing again and I take it out. Henry. I answer it without a sound. He’s waiting.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Extracurricular Activities</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Chapter 2</p><p> </p><p>Extracurricular Activities </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s running, she’s good at that. It’s 4 am and she’s running as fast as she can. It’s quiet and dark outside, just the way she likes it. She’s got her running clothes on, sleek and black. Her blonde hair is tied back, swinging left and right with her swift movements. She barely makes a sound. She simply smiles and begins to slow down. She’s catching up fast. She sees it first. That damn necklace around his neck, gleaming in the moonlight. It’s very catching, very striking. A goddamn churned bullet, the first one that ever wounded him. He wears it as a symbol of achievement. As if piercing your shoulder is anything to be proud about. He’s in his workout clothes. He runs at 4 am. Of course she knew that.</p><p>He looks a bit better. Still tired but a little less defeated. He was still handsome. Dark brown hair, almost black. Deep brown eyes. He was about 6’2, quite tall. He was a very striking man, hard to ignore. Even though she couldn’t see him clearly in this light, she knew that the wound would leave a scar on his forehead. She could almost imagine it. It was probably healed up by now. It’s been a while.</p><p>She wasn’t proud of her current situation but she needed to make sure. Her curiosity got the best of her. She wanted to know if he was alright.</p><p>He didn’t sense her as he started running. She kept her distance and slowed down. She took advantage of the shadows, they hid her well. He kept running, he was fast at first but he slowed down quickly after that. He was out of breath, hyperventilating and wincing. That terrible wound on the side of his abdomen must’ve been the cause of that, he was trying too hard. But she couldn’t blame him. He knew he had work to do. He was angry but he quickly sat down on the pavement. He put his head in his hands. He squeezed, he was furious. He couldn’t contain the pain or anguish. It was tearing him apart and she just stood there and watched. Powerless to stop it.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It was still dark but light was coming, the sun would be here. She needed to leave. He would notice her if she didn’t.</p><p>She wondered about his pain. He’d been through a lot and he wasn’t very good at hiding it. All that suffering has hardened him over time, he sometimes lost his edge, barely smiled anymore. He had no use for it. He had no joy, it was all gone now. She didn’t notice him running close to her. She quickly flattened herself against the wall and held her breath. He must’ve noticed something because he stopped running and started to notice his surroundings a lot more. She realized that he wasn’t paying much attention to anything around him, he was too preoccupied by his woes but the unmistakable darkness of a shadow caught his eye. He was more alert now. Someone was watching. She was quiet but he kept looking. Thankfully, a flock of birds appeared and interrupted his search. He looked defeated up close, as if the possibility of him being watched was something normal. He was becoming somewhat careless. He soon gave up his attempts at catching his would-be stalker, he sighed and left. Up close, he didn’t look well, he didn’t look well at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. In the beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 2</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>In the beginning</strong>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The missions that she was assigned to complimented her skill set. She was a refined asset, trained and perfected. She operated from the shadows, influencing the outcome of many different scenarios, ‘God’s work’ they called it. That was funny, as if god was actually watching.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was clean now, all sobered up and ready. Her hair was perfectly styled, her face was clear and striking. Her clothes were casual yet expensive. She usually sprung for the luxurious goods, she wasn’t a big spender but she liked the investment.</p>
<p>“Adaline Barker”. He said.</p>
<p>“This isn’t such a great idea”. She replied.</p>
<p>She was speaking to the man who gave the orders, Henry. She was handpicked to operate within an organization as a private liaison, she would have to make herself known. Operate in the light for everyone to see. She felt very uncomfortable. This isn’t what she signed up for.</p>
<p>“It’s perfect”</p>
<p>“It’s a colossally terrible idea”</p>
<p>“You’ll be operating under a different name and persona. You’ll be unrecognizable with the ability to obtain vital information”.</p>
<p>She couldn’t argue with that, Henry was smart. He knew what he was doing but he was willing to sacrifice anyone to obtain what he needed. He was clever but he wasn’t a great person to be around if you wanted to continue breathing.</p>
<p>She looked at him now with a critical eye and assessed him.</p>
<p>He looked the same, refined and striking. He had light brown hair and hazel eyes. A little stubble but it was perfectly kempt . He was wearing a dark blue v neck sweater, black jeans and black boots. Casual yet refined. He was handsome, she couldn’t argue with that. But he was a colossal distraction.</p>
<p>“Fine”. She relented. “When do I start?”.</p>
<p>“Next week”. He smiles a wicked smile.</p>
<p>She barely has enough time. She’d have to prepare herself, completely reinvent her personality, alter her appearance as to not be recognized. She gave him a dirty look now but he just continued to smile. He relished in this and if she had been in his place she would’ve done the same.</p>
<p>He handed her the briefing file. She scanned it and a name caught her eye. She would be working as a liaison for him. Great.</p>
<p>Her expression wavered but she quickly composed herself as to not attract the attention of Henry.</p>
<p>He would surely recognize her. How could he not? She did save his life.</p>
<p>Rescuing him was the only true anomaly in her system. The orders were strict, she would not interfere beyond her mission, but she did, she did it for a reason. The recognition. She realized that he would be needed, she thought that he was worth the sacrifice. Even in his current state, her opinion of him never wavered, he was worth it. </p>
<p>“Chris Mueller”. She said.</p>
<p>“You recognize him from your previous assignment, the captain”.</p>
<p>“I do”.</p>
<p>“You’ll be working alongside him. He has major trust issues and has requested a private agent to be his liaison. He doesn’t trust the organization that he now works for”.</p>
<p>Who could blame him.</p>
<p>She glanced at Henry. It was as if he read her mind. He knew that she had done something but he didn’t know what. He wasn’t sure. Even though she was a mystery to most, Henry knew her better than anyone and she hated that. Perhaps he knew her so well because she was the female version of him, wicked and devious.</p>
<p>She knew what she was, she’d embraced it a long time ago. She wasn’t afraid of being called selfish or deceptive, she is what she is. Her ‘bad’ qualities are the reason that she’s still alive. She had to harden herself, survival was her priority.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rescuing Chris was an anomaly, it wasn’t supposed to happen. Yet, she couldn’t stop herself. She would have regretted it if she had let him die, she knew that much.</p>
<p>She looked back at Henry. Perhaps he doesn’t know her that well because she doesn’t know herself. Something was changing within her, perhaps she hadn’t reached her full potential yet. Her final form.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Henry’s eyes held something, perhaps a little bit of affection towards her. But she couldn’t go there anymore, that ship had sailed a long time ago. Now, she just walked away without looking back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Interference</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 3</strong>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Interference</strong>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She had to investigate. Dig deeper. She had to know everything about her new boss. Chris Mueller. The perfect soldier, the formidable leader. He was the star during his academy days. She looked up old pictures, he had a boyish charm, always smiling. Smug smiles, shit-eating grins. The pictures change overtime. His demeanor changes. She could see the degeneration. He went from young, carefree and ambitious to a hardened and determined leader. There were no smiles in the recent pictures, just cold hard expressions. She was in for a tough ride. He wasn’t going to be easy. His expression said it all.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The bar he frequented was an outbreak waiting to happen. Sketchy wasn’t even enough to describe it. It was filthy and depressing. The floors alone would make you wanna put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.</p><p>She ordered a glass of vodka and chose a dark secluded booth with a vantage point. He wasn’t in yet. She was early for a reason. She didn’t want him to notice. He came in about 20 minutes later. He looked like he would kill for a glass of liquor if he had to. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt and dark jeans. His necklace gleamed again. It was so hard to ignore. He was hard to ignore.</p><p>He stepped in and took a seat at the bar and ordered a whole bottle of whisky. This wasn’t great. Borderline alcoholic. He was getting worse. She watched him drink away his sorrows. At first, he remained stable and comprehensive but by the 6th glass, he lost it. The bottle was empty and he needed more, he was desperate for it now. It became clear that the bottle was his lifeline, his only form of joy, an addiction. He caused quite a ruckus when the bartender denied him a second bottle. They tried to escort him out but he took them out with ease. It was mesmerizing to see him move. He was skilled, fast and effective. She would be dealing with a professional.</p><p>He composed himself and the realization set in. The dirty looks persisted but no one approached him, they didn’t want any broken bones. He quickly smoothed his leather jacket and left. That was the end of his night.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t immediately follow him. She left the bar about 5 minutes after. He couldn’t have gotten very far, he walked here after all and he wasn’t exactly sober.</p><p>She went out and kept walking down the street then she saw him, hunched over the wall trying to steady himself, he was truly losing it and she was losing control. And then he turned and saw her. She wasn’t trying to hide anymore and he probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning.</p><p> </p><p>“Debra”. He was breathless when he said it, he wasn’t surprised to see her, she was a bit confused. Had he noticed her at the bar?</p><p>“Chris”. She smiled, her voice was raspy and alluring. She didn’t want him to sense her acknowledgement of his condition.</p><p>He tried to compose himself and stand straighter but he just stumbled. It was kind of amusing, a man that tall and he just falls to the ground, she would’ve laughed if his situation hadn’t been so sad. He saw the pity on her face but he was too drunk to react.</p><p>“I thought our last rendez-vous was a one time thing”. He was being flirty now.</p><p>“It was”</p><p>“Then what the hell are you doing here?”. That was a good question, what the hell was she doing here?</p><p>She didn’t answer, just walked closer to him. He stood straighter now, he was extremely tall up close. She wasn’t controlling herself now. This was so unlike her, she would usually keep her distance but not tonight. Tonight she was possessed.</p><p>She was now standing right in front of him. His expression was unreadable but his eyes were full of something. She looked at his face, the scar had formed, just as she had suspected. He was handsome and she hated to admit that he made her pulse quicken. She looked into his eyes, and gently touched the scar on his cheek. His hand pulled her closer by the waist. She felt the heat in her back, she wanted more. Her hand finished tracing his scar and went to his lips. They were smooth and soft. She didn’t expect that. She continued to touch his face and she felt him shiver. His eyes quickly darkened and she didn’t want to stop it. His lips connected with hers and everything was on fire. She wanted more, she needed more. She could taste the whisky now and she kept going. His hand traced her back and slid under her top. Everywhere he touched her, it was on fire. She wanted him to feel the same. She took her hand and placed it underneath his shirt. She felt his strong chest and slowly slid her hand lower and lower. His breath hitched, her lips quirked up, perfect response. He really wanted her, needed her, this would be a perfect way to end his night. She suddenly remembered the assignment and stopped. This was bad. He looked at her in bewilderment. She gave him a sad smile. This would have to wait.</p><p> </p><p>He was still drunk, but sobering up. Somehow she would have to convince him that this never happened or everything would be doomed before it even begins. He was still stumbling and she took advantage of that. As a secret agent, she always carries a tranquilizer with her. You never know what you might get yourself into. Spies are very discreet and they shouldn’t be taking any chances. She had to cover all her bases, just in case.</p><p>She took him by surprise and swiftly injected the tranquilizer into his neck. He was out in less than 30 seconds. Instead of falling, he leaned on her, he was quite heavy. She gently eased him off of her. But she couldn’t leave him out here in the filthy back-alley, she’d have to take him to his apartment without being seen. She huffed. She wrapped her arms around him and began her journey. To a bystander, they looked like a couple, perhaps the man had a little too much fun and had passed out. Nobody thought it looked weird, they just passed by without a second glance.</p><p> </p><p>Hopefully he wouldn’t remember this tomorrow. He was in such a bad place that perhaps he would choose to believe that this was all just a dream after a drunk night out. </p><p> </p><p>What a predicament this was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dear reader, <br/>I would greatly appreciate your feedback and your comments.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Persona</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 4</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Persona</strong> </p><p> </p><p>The reinvention would have to begin immediately. Adaline Barker has dark brown hair and blue eyes. Debra had blonde hair and brown eyes. Adaline was a cultured young woman. She was interested in art and books. She sounded like a bore. She lived in Paris for 3 years and as a result she had a slight French accent. She enjoyed long walks, yoga and Pilates. She was organized and pleasant. Nothing special, just your average generic white female. Such a snooze fest, Debra was almost disgusted.</p><p>Fucking Henry, he completely butchered Adaline. Debra couldn’t allow her alternate persona to be such a bore. She completely reinvented her once more. Adaline ‘Ada’ Barker has dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Ada likes early 2000’s rock music. Ada was composed yet carefree and young. She likes pizza and vodka. Rough combination. Ada likes to run. Ada is friendly and sarcastic, she gets along with almost everyone. A true extrovert. Happy birthday Adaline Barker.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t willing to dye her hair, she had to find a convincing wig. It was quite pricey but she found it. Shoulder length, wavy, curtain bangs and subtle highlights. It fit her perfectly. She acquired the contact lenses next, she hated the feel but it will have to do.</p><p>The clothes were next. She had an image, all business but with an unspoken edge. Tailored pinstriped pants, a tailored vest and a silky ivory shirt. Black heels with the subtle red underneath. She added the glasses next. A true Clark Kent, Superman in disguise. Hopefully this will work.</p><p> </p><p>Henry almost didn’t recognize her, but the voice was hard to ignore. She would have to work on that, make it deeper, less recognizable. He smirked, she looked good. She gave him a flirty smile. She might’ve had a few casual meetings with Henry. Emphasis on the word ‘casual’. She wasn’t in the mood now, he wasn’t doing it for her. Somebody else was on her mind.</p><p>“You look good”.</p><p>“I always look good”. It wasn’t a lie. She was proud of the way she took care of herself.</p><p>He dropped the smirk and adopted a serious expression. He was in business mode now.</p><p>“They have unusual timings, your supervisor wants to meet at exactly 10 pm tomorrow night”.</p><p>She wasn’t surprised. A special organization should operate at special hours.</p><p>“Fair enough”. She was done now and was headed for the exit.</p><p> </p><p>“Debra”. The way he said it, it held something. Was it longing? Henry wasn’t the kind that needed someone. He was a solitary individual. But there was no mistaking it now, he sounded like he needed her, not just needed her to stay but needed her in general.</p><p>She didn’t turn around, she didn’t need to, the answer wasn’t going to change. Once upon a time she would’ve stayed but not now. Things were changing now, there was something in the air. Alliances were shifting, loyalties were being tested.</p><p>Henry’s ‘needs’ were not her priority. It didn’t mean that she didn’t care about him, it was just different now, she wasn’t feeling it anymore. He didn’t do it for her anymore. She had to move on, for both their sakes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Loyal to No One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 5</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Loyal to No One</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The base was a secret, she had to board a helicopter in an unidentified airbase to get there. She couldn’t have planned for any of it. By the time she boarded the heli her hair looked like a bird’s nest. She quickly fixed her hair and took a seat. The helicopter was small but powerful. She watched the view outside, trying to decipher exactly where she was, to no avail. They flew over trees, it was all so very dark, she couldn’t see a thing. This was intentional.</p><p> </p><p>She arrived at exactly 9:55 pm. They were all gearing up for something and then he showed up. He was dressed in all black, tactical gear. He wore a short sleeved t-shirt that showcased his biceps, they were very taut.</p><p>Before he walked in, the room was buzzing with conversation. He didn’t need to speak, the room was silent when his feet touched the ground. Everyone looked towards him, awaiting their commands but he kept quiet, eyeing everyone until he turned and saw her standing next to the supervisor. He didn’t recognize her. Good. He was intrigued though and perhaps annoyed that a stranger was in his secret base. He walked towards them, awaiting an explanation.</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Captain, there you are. We were waiting for you”. The supervisor had a fake smile plastered on his face, there was hostility between them. The air was tense.</p><p>“I hope you didn’t wait for too long”. She sincerely doubted that he cared.</p><p>“Not at all. I wanted to introduce you to your new liaison, Ms Adaline Barker”. He gave you that fake smile again and you returned it, the way you had gotten it.</p><p>“I’ve heard so much about you, captain”. You smiled and offered your hand. He just stared at it and turned towards the supervisor. His hands crossed against his chest. He was very much annoyed now.</p><p>“My liaison?”</p><p>So he doesn’t know. Great.</p><p>“We discussed this with the board members. Ms Barker here is a private agent. She was hired to provide assistance and well, keep things running smoothly”. He gave the captain a critical eye. So she was hired to be a babysitter. Lovely.</p><p>“A babysitter, really?” You couldn’t mistake the anger now in his voice.</p><p>“Captain Mueller, our relationship has been strained from the start. We understand that you do not trust us but we cannot allow that to compromise our work. Ms Barker here was hired to keep the peace between both parties. She answers to no one. She is a freelance agent”.</p><p>“I somehow doubt that”. He really didn’t trust them and maybe that was smart. He sighed and nodded towards the supervisor, silently accepting this little boulder in his path. He walked away from them without another word. His sight set on his team members, he had work to do.</p><p>The supervisor turned towards her and smiled. “Well, I hope you do not run into any serious trouble”. He was obviously talking about the captain’s issues. His smile turned wicked and Cheshire-like as he lowered his voice. “And remember where your loyalties lie”. And with that he left.</p><p>Her loyalty lies no where.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>She was waiting silently, watching him as he communicated with his soldiers. A true leader. You could see the respect that his team had for him. They truly looked up to him. The way he spoke, he demanded attention. He truly cared about his people. Caring for people was not a luxury that she could afford.</p><p> </p><p>The captain finished speaking to his team and turned towards her. He needed to get this over with. He slowly walked towards her, dreading the moment when he reached her.</p><p>“Ms Barker”.</p><p>“Please, call me Ada”. She smiled gently, her voice was deeper. He didn’t recognize her.</p><p>She wouldn’t admit it but she was kind of hurt.</p><p>“Ada”. He corrected himself. “I don’t need a babysitter and I would appreciate it if you stayed out of my way”.</p><p>“Captain Mueller, I have no intention of blocking your way. I am only here to provide assistance and act as a liaison between you and the members”.</p><p>“I sincerely doubt that”.</p><p>“Captain, I know this was sprung on you without your consent but I truly think that we can work together if you gave me a chance”.</p><p>“I can’t afford any extra chances. My team depend on me. I can’t put my faith in the hands of somebody who doesn’t deserve it”.</p><p>He got straight to the point. Cut through like a blunt knife. She couldn’t blame him, he has lost a lot of people due to some unnamed unworthy individuals.</p><p>“Captain, I understand your apprehension towards this particular arrangement but I don’t see any other way for us to move forward. You need to give me a chance, the mission depends on it”.</p><p>He was eyeing her critically, trying to understand this unidentified being that was suddenly put on his path to make his already miserable existence even more hellish.</p><p>“Where do your loyalties lie?” He didn’t like to play around, he was not a very patient man.</p><p>“My loyalty lies with no one, only the mission”. She answered calmly and hopefully earnestly. Her job depended on it. On him believing her. </p><p>“We’ll see”. And with that final note, he was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Reminiscence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 6</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Reminiscence</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It smelled.... special. Unique. She hadn’t noticed it before with anybody else but with him, it was different. The bed had a distinct smell. Like wood and spices, she couldn’t get enough. It was intoxicating. He was intoxicating. His misery and his suffering. Misery loves company. But she saw something else in him, a little bit of light, enough to keep him from completely succumbing to the dark void he was leaning towards. Enough to keep the moth circling the dying flame. She was a parasite and she knew it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The opposite side of the bed was occupied by him. He was fast asleep. Naked with only the silky crimson duvet covering his lower half. He seemed so vulnerable in this state. Yes, vulnerable yet so irresistible. She wanted him. She had this overwhelming feeling to touch his face, ever so gently. She couldn’t understand it. She never felt that way before. He stirred something in her, something beyond her understanding. Beyond her coding. It scared her but it also excited her.</p>
<p>She silently moved her finger to try and touch his cheek. Before she could reach his face, the eyes came to life. He was on edge, alert. But he quickly relaxed when he realized it was just her. He turned towards her and wrapped his hands around her waist in an effort to pull her closer. She obliged. Soon enough, her head was on his chest, monitoring his heart beat. It was stable and almost soothing, like a soft lullaby. Calm and comforting, she was soon put to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She remembered this so clearly. Her memories of him never alluded her. They were clear and present at all times. He couldn’t remember, it was alright. Somethings were more important, like her mission, her sole purpose. He had a job to do and she couldn’t turn into an obstacle in his path. The sacrifice. It didn’t scare her. Doing what needed to be done was her purpose, her true destiny. Some people were just meant to suffer. The suffering was her only true friend, the only thing that she truly recognized. It was the only thing that never left her side. Her North Star, her guiding light. She couldn’t live without it now, it was a part of her soul. Without it, there would be nothing else to live for. Without it, she would already be dead.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. No way out now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 7</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No way out now</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She lay in bed, it was 4 am. She couldn’t sleep now, so she got up. She changed her clothes, a white tank top, a good pair of jeans and a warm leather jacket; it was chilly outside at this time.</p>
<p>She lived close to the woods, that’s where she was supposed to be going but her mind led her somewhere else. Her mind led her to him. She walked for an hour before she reached her destination. She was standing now right outside of his apartment building. She could see his window, it was dark, she couldn’t see anything. She assumed he was asleep until the lights turned on.</p>
<p>She could almost hear his groan in her mind, he probably had too much to drink. He liked that bottle way too much, it was his lifeline and she couldn’t blame him.</p>
<p>She kept watching, waiting for him to come into view but he never did. He turned the lights off and the both of them were now shrouded in darkness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A minute later the light was back on. She wanted to go up there, continue what they had once started but she knew that he would recognize her, so she walked away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few hours later</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was now in the base, wearing her Adaline Barker persona. Some of the soldiers were somewhat weary of her presence at first but she won them over. She had that kind of effect when she chose to use it.</p>
<p>She decided to get him a cup of coffee but he accidentally spilled it. Sometimes he wasn’t very subtle.</p>
<p>“You know, I’m not stupid enough to poison you”. She chuckled. He just looked at her with a glare.</p>
<p>She smiled and patted his desk. “I’ll just get you another one”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was back two minutes later with a fresh cup of coffee, she placed it on his desk. He looked at it like it was carrying a deadly disease but he took a sip. Oh, what a brave soul he was. She chuckled again and shook her head.</p>
<p>She sat across from him, he glared again but then chose to ignore her. He was doing paperwork.</p>
<p>She looked at his office now, it was big but empty, like a white hospital room. It was an eyesore. There were no paintings, no decor whatsoever. He only had a desk and three chairs. She glanced at him again, he wasn’t fine at all, he was empty, his office was a reflection of that.</p>
<p>“Why is your office so empty?” She asked earnestly.</p>
<p>“Because I have no use for decor”. He answered without looking at her.</p>
<p>“Decor has a use you know, it’s almost like a reflection of your soul”.</p>
<p>He stopped now, he was intrigued. The papers in his hand were now forgotten. He looked at her.</p>
<p>“And what does my soul look like to you?”</p>
<p>“Empty”. She answered without hesitation.</p>
<p>He stopped looking at her and went back to work but she wasn’t done.</p>
<p>“It’s too white, looks like a hospital. People only go to the hospital when they are in pain and suffering, immensely”. She continued absentmindedly.</p>
<p>He dropped the papers, she hit a nerve.</p>
<p>“And what do you know about pain and suffering?” He asked while trying so hard to contain his growing anger.</p>
<p>“More than you think”. She answered simply and without hesitation.</p>
<p>Her eyes almost betrayed her but she composed herself quickly. He looked at her now, clearly. He saw something else, perhaps he actually saw her. He kept watching her. He wasn’t angry anymore, he was just trying to figure her out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had had enough. She didn’t want to be in that blank void anymore.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna go get a cup of coffee, do you need anything?”. She asked him.</p>
<p>“No. Thank you”. He was actually polite for once. Maybe they were making progress.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She came back a few minutes later with a cup of coffee and a croissant. She placed the croissant in front of him and sat back down.</p>
<p>“I’m not hungry”.</p>
<p>“You didn’t eat anything, you should keep your energy up”.</p>
<p>The croissant remained untouched for about 15 minutes until he gave up and took a bite out of it. Real progress. Good.</p>
<p>He remained focused at the task at hand, he didn’t notice her looking at him and she took advantage of that. He looked handsome as usual. He had a little subtle, she liked his stubble. His eyes didn’t look so tired, perhaps he actually got some sleep last night. Looking at him only charged her feelings even further and she didn’t want to lose control. She needed to distract herself somehow.</p>
<p>“You’ve been working for hours, you could use a break”.</p>
<p>“I don’t need one”.</p>
<p>“Chris”. It left her lips before she could stop it. She said it the way she used to say it. The way he knew her. Adaline Barker was gone for a moment.</p>
<p>He looked at her again, almost baffled at her disrespect. They weren’t friends, she had no right to call him by his first name. He almost responded until he clearly looked at her again. He actually paused to look at her facial features for once. He didn’t quite register the way she looked before but now he was, he was eyeing her from her eyes to her lips. And then the look of recognition came. She didn’t stop it, she was tired of the charade.</p>
<p>“Debra”. He said it without questioning it. He quickly got up from his chair and grabbed her almost roughly.</p>
<p>He was angry but he was also tired of being angry. She was gone for a very long time. A piece of the past he couldn’t quite remember but he knew she was a part of it. He needed her to remember. He continued to look at her without restraint. His fingers grazed her cheek and then her lips. They were so close now, she felt his chest against hers. His rough hold on her wasn’t a problem, she actually enjoyed his aggressiveness. She leaned in closer and he finally crashed his lips against hers. They were both so needy, so wanting, so desperate for each other. He grabbed her torso roughly and pulled her against him. His other hand was placed firmly behind her neck, driving her even closer to him. She didn’t want him to stop but she also didn’t want to relinquish all of her control. She swiftly turned and pushed him against the wall. She grabbed his neck and continued. She felt the heat between them and moaned without restraint. His kisses tortured her, they were so precise and they hit the mark every time. She wanted more, needed more and she begged for it, moan after moan. He unbuttoned the first two buttons and he kept sucking on the skin. He would’ve continued if they hadn’t heard the noises from the hallway, headed straight here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She left soon after their encounter, she wasn’t in the mood to answer any of his questions. But she would be back later, in his apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She changed her attire and reverted back to her true persona. She always looked better than that damn Ada Barker. She wore a silk camisole, sleek heels and her signature leather jacket. She was waiting at his apartment.</p>
<p>His place wasn’t so bad, it needed some cleaning but other than that it was habitable. His bedroom beckoned her and she entered. The bed was a mess, the sheets were unkempt and untidy. The pillows were abused way too many times. It was clear that his bed was the hub of nightmares, where his past mistakes car to haunt him. The whole bed irked her and the OCD kicked in. She promptly changed the sheets, threw them in the hamper and got a new clean set. The bed was now made, at least something was filthy now.</p>
<p>She made her way back to the living room. She assessed the area, careful not to remove anything from its original place. The living room was sparse but it was way better than his office. At least the living room had a little bit of character. The couch was a dark and inviting color and the exposed brick wall gave his place a little bit of an edge. She took a couple of steps and entered the kitchen area. The fridge barely contained any food, mostly bears. She opened a cabinet and found a warehouse of liquor. Bottles and bottles of alcohol; breakfast, lunch and dinner. She was done.</p>
<p>She made her way back to the couch and sat in silence, waiting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An hour later, she heard his key enter the lock, he fiddled quite a lot before he actually got the door to open. He pushed it and made his way into the foyer and threw the keys onto the table nearby. He walked in and saw her, a deer caught in the headlights. She simply adjusted her seating position and gave him a smile.</p>
<p>“No need for me to ask how you got in. What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“Isn’t it obvious? I missed you”. Yes, play the angel card, as if he couldn’t see that you were a devil. Her smile wavered. Her lips were now pursed, waiting for him to speak.</p>
<p>He shook his head as if he was trying to gather his memories but it didn’t work and it frustrated him even more. He walked over to her and sat down on the chair facing the couch.</p>
<p>“Help me remember. Please”. It was an earnest request, his eyes meant it.</p>
<p>“You know I can’t. It’s best if you forget”. She placed her hand on his cheek. “Some graves are just not meant to be dug up”.</p>
<p>He moved away from her and her fingers fell flat. He was annoyed with her. Exasperated. Unable to comprehend why she would refuse such a simple request. But it wasn’t a simple request, not really. His life was on the line.</p>
<p>“It’s better this way. You need to let it go, not every memory is a good one”.</p>
<p>“IT’S MY GODDAMN MEMORY”. He sighed. “It’s my memory. You don’t understand. It’s like a chunk of my head is missing. Sometimes I can’t function. Sometimes I start to remember but then the memories just disappear, they float away. I do not understand what’s happening to me. I can’t control it”. She breathed heavily. He was suffering a whole lot. Living without himself. An empty shell. If she helped him remember, she might as well put a bull’s eye on the back of his head. She couldn’t risk his life like that, but what choice did she have? He was a shell, nothing of his former self. He needed his memory.</p>
<p>“Fine. But I must explain something. Your memories allude you but it’s not your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your body is not the problem, it’s what was injected into you that created this complication”.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Boiling anger again. He had a really bad temper but who could blame him?</p>
<p>“Your higher-ups, they did this. To keep an eye on you without damaging their plans. Chris, you are an asset, a non-expendable one. They need you, but they don’t specifically need your memories. Your head is a threat to them and they know it”. *sigh* “I do not know what happened or what you saw but whatever it was, it was deadly and real”.</p>
<p>Silence, not a word came out of him so she continued. “Your memories will return but you need something specific to counter the effects of what they gave you. I’m not sure what it was exactly. We need blood work to make sure. That crap caused you to lose your memories and it’s still in your bloodstream. It’s probably poisoning you. The sooner we find an antidote, the better”. Silence. “Say something”.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell me before?”</p>
<p>“There are too many eyes around you. It’s not easy”. She gently touched his hands, he didn’t slide his away. Her voice became more soothing. “I was just trying to keep an eye on you. If things got worse, I promise I would’ve intervened. I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you, Chris. I hope you know that”. She touched his face again, hands holding opposite sides of his face. Pleading with him to look at her to see the truth. She placed her face closer to his, their foreheads now touching, neither one of them could look away. She gently kissed his forehead, his hand snaked to her back and touched her shoulder, pulling her in. Her head remained next to his, a hand on her back and the other around her torso. His heartbeat, a sweet lullaby. They held each other firmly but gently, as they both stared into the dark abyss that was their future.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Dear Reader,<br/>Thank you for taking the time to read this work. Your support is heavily appreciated. I also welcome recommendations and helpful criticism. </p><p>P.S, Chris Mueller’s physical attributes were heavily influenced by Grant Ward (Agents of Shield) and Sam Witwer, however, he remains an independent character. </p><p>Also, the name of the work was influenced by Buffy the vampire slayer’s season 5 finale, titled The Gift. The Gift is the greatest sacrifice.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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